Tips for Stagecoach Travelers
Omaha Herald, 1877
The best seat inside a stage is the one next to the driver.
Even if you have a tendency to seasickness when riding backwards -- you'll get over it and
will get less jolts and jostling. Don't let "sly elph" trade you his mid-seat.
In cold weather, don't ride with
tight-fitting shoes, or gloves. When the driver asks you to get off and walk, do so
without grumbling, he won't request it unless absolutely necessary. If the team runs away
-- sit still and take your chances. If you jump, nine out of ten times you will get hurt.
In very cold weather, abstain
entirely from liquor when on the road, because you will freeze twice as quickly when under
Don't growl at the food received at
the station -- stage companies generally provide the best they can get.
Don't keep the stage waiting. Don't
smoke a strong pipe inside the coach. Spit on the leeward side. If you have anything to
drink in a bottle, pass it around. Procure your stimulants before starting, as
"ranch" (stage depot) whisky is not "nectar."
Don't lean or lop over neighbors
when sleeping. Take small change to pay expenses. Never shoot on the road, as the noise
might frighten the horses. Don't discuss politics or religion.
Don't point out where murders have
been committed, especially if there are women passengers.
Don't lag at the wash basin. Don't
grease your hair, because travel is dusty. Don't imagine for a moment that you are going
on a picnic. Expect annoyances, discomfort, and some hardships.